My name’s on your iPhone

Really. Go find it. I’ll wait.

Couldn’t find it? Settings > General > About > Legal > Legal Notices. Scroll waaaaaaaay down. Eventually you’ll hit this –

Legal Text - Contributors to Berkeley Unix

That’s right, Steve Hayman of the Indiana University Computer Science Department.

What’s all that about?

In 1989 or so I was working at Indiana University as a network manager in the computer science department.
We had a fleet of Apollo and Sun workstations, and one or two of these weird NeXT cube things, which I wound up getting to know pretty well but that’s another story.

University of California, Berkeley had a popular variant of the UNIX system, which we used at IU on our Suns, including the Sun 3/60 on my desk, that happened to be based extensively on AT&T’s System V.

Berkeley wanted to get rid of the AT&T parts so that they could make it truly open-source and unencumbered by the AT&T license restrictions, so they put out a call for volunteers to rewrite certain AT&T programs from scratch.
(The rules were: you were allowed to study and run the original, and look at the man page, but you couldn’t look at the original AT&T source code.)

Along with many other people who were much better programmers than me, I volunteered, and they asked me to take a stab at rewriting /usr/games/bcd, which was a silly little program that took text and drew a fake punch card around it.

BCD output sample

BCD stands for Binary Coded Decimal, which was the text encoding standard that evolved into EBCDIC (Extended Binary Coded Decimal Interchange Code), as used on punch cards, which I actually used in my first year Waterloo computing course on Fortran, and you would perhaps have liked the conference talk I gave at MacSysAdmin on the history of text encodings from Morse Code to Emoji – but more importantly – this bcd program qualified as high concept computer geek humor back in the day.
Also it was in /usr/games! What exciting computer games we had in those days!

AT&T Unix came with this utility, and I volunteered to rewrite it, and submitted the code to Berkeley.
They seemed happy with it and asked me to do another so I also rewrote /usr/bin/join, which is a sort of command line version of the database join function.
(That one was way more useful but way less fun to demo.)

Weirdly, the AT&T version only created 48-column cards instead of the standard 80-column card, but I was intent on copying the AT&T version, so if you ever look at the source you should change this line

int columns = 48;

So anyway I kind of forgot about it, but here we are, decades later.
Berkeley UNIX has continued to evolve, and a lot of the Berkeley code found its way into Linux, and MacOS, and even iOS.
Needless to say, iOS doesn’t actually include either the bcd or join programs, but it does include a lot of other Berkeley Unix code.

Apple lists the license agreement and credits for a ton of open source code in its Legal Notices section, and Berkeley, god bless them, has chosen to include the names of all these contributors from long ago. The Berkeley section says This code is derived from software contributed to Berkeley by …. and lists dozens of people, virtually all of whom did something way more important than I did.

But there it is.
I’m sure hardly anybody reads the Legal Notices but it’s the first thing I check when there’s a new iOS release. Just making sure things are still there.


Berkeley unix mutated into OpenBSD and FreeBSD and NetBSD and Linux and MacOS and iOS and watchOS and tvOS and I can’t keep track of it all – but you can see the OpenBSD version of the BCD source here.

I am really amused that in my efforts to copy the AT&T version exactly, I inadvertently copied a bug from the original! Four years later, Dyane Bruce noticed (and fixed) that Q and R were being punched the same way! ooops.

old experiments

The other day my son informed me that the basement family room light turned on at the exact moment someone rang the doorbell.
Now, we have some HomeKit automation in our house – light switches, thermostat, etc – but I know our doorbell is not a homekit-enabled doorbell, so that couldn’t possibly be it.

It must have been just one of those weird coincidences.

Maybe an electrical glitch.

Maybe he’s imagining things….

Today I got thinking about another kind of automation.
Is there something I can do so that I can post something once and then it gets automatically submitted to Twitter, Mastodon, Facebook and this blog?
Hmm. I know a lot of people like IFTTT, a web based tool where you can make actions happen when something else happens ….I remember looking at that once … I should log in there and see if there’s something.

So I log in to ifttt for the first time in a long time. And discover this, which has been quietly running away for the past two years:

IFTTT workflow



Oh THAT. I remember now.

That explains it. That long forgotten experiment has been turning our basement lights on whenever the doorbell rings for almost three years, completely unnoticed by everybody.

Well, unnoticed by me.

Thanks for the tip, Nick.

(I’ve deleted it. Thank you for your service, my little forgotten ifttt workflow.)

Come From Even Further Away – A New Musical

Tyler is enrolled in a musical theatre program at Sheridan College, where the show Come From Away was first developed.

That got me thinking.

I have an idea for a sequel.

Every year we hear of confused travellers who wind up in Sydney, Nova Scotia, thinking they were flying to Sydney, Australia.

This is their story.

OVERTURE: Arrivals area at a small airport. We see our hero, retrieving his bag. It suddenly dawns on him that something is wrong.

๐ŸŽถ S-Y-D!
You should visit Australia!
The scenery will thrill ya!
I flew across the high blue sky.
And somehow I’m in YQY.
What is it with these Canadian airport codes?

A work in progress.

You should get a custom domain.

You really should get a custom domain.

I like having “” for my domain name. (I registered that one over twenty years ago – I wish I had been fast enough to get “” – but that was for many years a cash register company in the States, that has now mutated into a consulting company. But they are also Haymans (no relation) so that’s cool.)

A domain can be as cheap as $10/year.
What can you do if you’ve registered your own?

  • Have whatever simple, easy to remember, easy to say email address you like, forever. You can set things up so that email to YourSimpleEmailAddress is magically forwarded to YourActualComplicatedEmailAddress.
    i.e. Let’s say you registered the domain name “”.
    Now you can tell everybody that your email address, forever, will be
    Doesn’t that look better and more professional than “”? And if you ever switch email addresses – maybe you’ve dropped the cable company – you don’t need to tell anybody that your new email address is now “”. They can keep using as if nothing ever happened. You just change the mail forwarding setup. And …
    If you’re looking for a job, which email address do you want to tell them –, or ?

  • Set up similar email addresses for friends and family.
    My dad has a simple email address now, one based on his name that is easy to remember, and he has been known to brag about this vanity address to his friends. I think he says “my son runs the internet, that’s how he managed to get”

  • Set up emails for your kids that just forward everything to your email address, so you can gently introduce them to email. I have been known to register a domain name and email forwarding for somebody else’s new baby as a thoughtful gift. I think this is a thoughtful gift. Wouldn’t you like to have a permanent, easy to remember email address from the day you were born? (Other people disagree. I’m still trying.)

  • Make a single email address that goes to BOTH Mom and Dad.
    We did this any time the school or anybody else wanted an email contact.
    We told them to use – and those emails were a simple address that forwarded to BOTH parents so that we’d each see the important communications.

  • Make a catch-all address, if you like, so that ANY email at all sent to will be forwarded to your actual email address.
    Then you can invent a new email every time you register for something.
    Tell the newspaper that your address is, say, “” and you can instantly recognize emails that come from the paper to you.
    Or if you need to register for some throwaway site, don’t give them your real email, give them . You can always arrange later that any mail sent to that address will be magically deleted.

  • Have a blog with an easy to remember domain name, like this one – “”, instead of (in my case, at the moment) “”.
    I like but if I ever get tired of it and want to move to wordpress or tumblr or something else, I can keep using “” and just change a few settings so that that address now refers people to wherever my blog actually is.
    If you happen to be using, there are some good instructions here on setting up a custom domain.

  • Have a web site that actually redirects people to your Facebook page or your blog page or anywhere else. We’ve done this for my wife’s travel business, a simple URL – – that redirects to her travel agency’s web site.
    We can change that redirect later to point to anything else, but she can use this as part of her brand.

The hardest part, of course, is thinking of a good domain name that isn’t already in use.
All the good .com’s are gone. has been registered, sometimes by a company that wants to sell you some email forwarding services.
But I bet you can think of something.
Maybe you register or or some other variation?
Maybe .net or .ca or any one of hundreds of new top-level-domains that have been created recently?

Where to start?

There are plenty of registrars who will register the domain name you’ve dreamed up, and let you set up email forwarding like I described.
Most will let you search for domain names across .com, .net, .ca, .club, .construction, .family and hundreds of other top-level-domains at once.

I happen to like Namecheap and EasyDNS but there are lots of others.
Let’s say I was doing this today.
I’d go to and there’s a search box on the main page. Type in “hayman” and it’ll start searching … and we see …

  • (taken)
  • (taken – wait, I already have this one)
  • (that’s me too)
  • (Available! Premium! $5,532.50/year! No thank you!)
  • (Only $2.48/year for the first year)

And many more.
Pick one, sign up, pay Namecheap, and you’ll own your domain.

Let’s say you like “”. Namecheap then gives you a web site where you can set things up so that email to, for instance, “” gets forwarded to “” and you never need to tell anybody your ugly cable company email address again. Just tell them “”. Any mail anybody sends to will get magically forwarded (by Namecheap’s servers) to your real email address.
And if you choose later in life to switch from to or or or anything else,
you don’t need to tell everybody in the world what your new address is; you just return to and fiddle with the forwarding.


  • Don’t forget to renew your domain every year. If you’re serious about this, set up automatic renewal. You don’t want to forget to renew “” and then have all your incoming email stop working – or, worse, somebody else registers YOUR domain name and won’t give it back unless you pay them big bucks. Actually happens.

  • You’ll have to set up your Mail program so that mail you create says “From:” instead of “From:”

  • Pick a reputable domain name registrar.
  • A .com domain still seems to have the greatest prestige, for no particularly good reason other than .com has been around the longest. It’s also getting really hard to find domain that hasn’t already been chosen. There’s nothing wrong with using .net or .ca or any of the hundreds of others – but if you can find a simple .com that’s still available, use that.
    On the other hand, ma

No Offence Intended – A 1986 History of Waterloo Warrior Football

In 1986 UW Courier Alumni Magazine editor Chris Redmond, knowing of my irrational support of the apparent lost cause of Waterloo football, asked me to write an article on the history of the team.

UW Courier Cover December 1986

I had just graduated from Waterloo with my M.Math. and had been a staunch supporter of the football Warriors ever since I started in 1977.
(Maybe you heard, I ran the Waterloo Warriors Band for a few years too.)

The team had gone through an amazing period of futility at the time.
Things are much better now though.
Legendary coach Dave “Tuffy” Knight arrived in 1988, and by 1997 the Warriors had actually won the Yates Cup, emblematic of Ontario football supremacy.
Waterloo even won a playoff game over Western, the last game ever played at Western’s historic J. W. Little Stadium. Western then tore down the stadium in shame.

And although the team reverted to its traditional struggling form in the 2000s – and, sadly, UW suspended the football program for an entire year in 2010 after an embarrassing steroid scandal – the current Warriors under coach Chris Bertoia are returning to respectability.
They are 2-0 as I write this, won 4 games last year, and seems to have shaken off years of futility.
Let’s hope that trend continues.

I really enjoyed researching this article, talking to past coaches, hearing some of their stories,
and learning that there was a long-lost trophy, the Bar-O-O, made from a barrel painted in each school’s colours, that went to the winner of the Waterloo/Laurier game.

Cleaning up the garage on the weekend, I found a box with a copy of the magazine.
Rereading it brought back lots of memories – especially of wonderful coaches like Carl Totzke, Wally Delahey and Bob McKillop, who all befriended me as a nervous undergraduate attempting to figure out how to run a band, and who loved telling stories of founding and growth of Waterloo football.
Carl and Wally both passed away recently, but I met Bob at the UW hall of fame banquet last year and was able to tell him how much his friendship meant to me.

I hope you might enjoy rereading this article too.
I’m indebted to former UW Alumni magazine editor Chris Redmond for encouraging this piece.
In hindsight, my prediction at the end was just a bit off – but I think I could see that things were going to get better.

Anyway, here it is.
I hope that by putting this online,
some of these stories of Waterloo Warrior football might live a little longer.

No offence intended

Waterloo, UW Alumni Magazine, December 1986

Observations, historical research and ill-disguised passion by Steve Hayman, until recently Chief Centurion of the Warriors Band and still one of the greatest of a brave breed: fans of Warrior football.

It’s a story 30 seasons long, starting with “Carleton College Ravens 24, Waterloo College Mules 20” on October 5, 1957; punctuated by “Waterloo 1, RMC 0”, “Waterloo 60, Laurentian 0”, “Waterloo 19, Lutheran 7”, and, more typically, “Western 72, Waterloo “.

It’s a story of dedicated fans, cheerleaders in togas, making the playoffs, a wine-barrel trophy, one of the bands in Canada, and school fight songs with timeless lyrics including “Keep on playing, you Warriors,”, “Come on, get wise, you guys,” and “Laurier, Laurier, pffft to Laurier.”

It’s a story with 66 wins, 165 losses and 5 ties, and five guys who made it to the pros.

And it’s a story of a group of players and coaches who, although usually unsuccessful in the win column, achieved other more important goals, such as getting an education and having fun. Just ask anyone who’s ever coached the team.
(It’s easy. They all still work here.)

The current coach-for-life, Bob McKillop, is the perfect guy to head Warrior football.
The prototypical big-man-on-campus in the late 60’s, he quarterbacked the Warriors to three straight winning seasons.

McKillop played baseball for the White Sox, coached the Warrior hockey team to a national championship in 1974, played on an intramural basketball team that beat the varsity Warriors one year. (“I’ll never forget that”, he says, although he wonders if maybe it was the junior varsity team.) He was even MC for the FASS show, and is one of the few people who understand the Warriors Band.

“I’ve actually had some fun this year,” he said, in the midst of 1986’s record losing streak.
“The kids work hard and we have an exceptional coaching staff.
There’s a tremendous amount of improvement going on. I’m really really pleased. I hope we can keep this group together.”

The early years

UW has had a football team of sorts since its inception in 1957, when Waterloo College started up the “Associate Faculties” as a dodge for getting more government money.
At that time, a young Carl Totzke, Waterloo College Class of ’49, was reporting on sports for the K-W Record and coaching the WC Mules part-time.

“We had to scramble for games,” Totzke, now UW athletic director, recalled.
“We played Huron College, Ryerson, U of T intramural teams, whoever we could get.”

The Associate Faculties, which eventually became UW, built Seagram Stadium in 1957 on land donated by the city, and with the help of $250,000 from Seagrams.
“That was the first building of the new Associate Faculties, and it demonstrated that it was for real,” Totzke recalls.
“Then the government kicked in, and of course, later we gave the stadium away.”
To the city.
For a dollar.

In 1958, Totzke became the full time WC athletic director, with a staff of none, and led the Mules — a team shared by Waterloo College and the Associate Faculties/UW — to their second straight 0-7 season in the Ontario Intercollegiate Football Conference; they managed to beat Carleton 30-6 in 1959 to finish the 1950’s with a 1-20 record.

The UW Warrior football team made its debut under that name in the OIFC in 1960; all-time Warrior great Dick Aldredge captained the team, which lost to Guelph in their first game but beat Carleton and RMC later to finish at 2-5.

Aldredge was a two-way player, playing offensively and defensively for up to 58 minutes per game; in 1961 he led Waterloo to a historic 12-6 win over Carleton for the school’s first Homecoming win during the “Wa Wa Wee” — the Waterloo Warrior Weekend.
He’s still the team’s all-time leading rusher and second-leading scorer with 991 points, behind late-70’s kicker Mike Karpow.

Also in 1961, “Hail to Waterloo,” by science student Kenneth Magee, won a contest held for a new school song.
To the tune of Scotland the Brave, it went like this

Hail, Hail to Waterloo
Our Warriors fight for you
On High your colours hold
Black, White and Gold
We’ll show them one and all
That they can’t win them all.
Proudly we give the call
Hail Waterloo!

Catchy, but it didn’t enjoy universal support.
One cheerleader felt compelled to write an alternate:

Come on get wise, you guys,
We are from Waterloo.
We’ve got a winning team,
We’ll walk right over you.
The Engineers are here,
The Arts and Science too,
So give a great big cheer,
For the U. Of W.

1961 ended with a third place 3-4 record and the first appearance in print of the Warrior slogan “Wait ’till next year.”
The following year, a record crowd of 1,884 saw the Waterloo Lutheran Golden Hawks edge Waterloo 7-6 in the first o 25 games between the cross-town rivals.
The Warriors have one 4 out of the 9 games they’ve played against “Lutheran”, but have lost all 16 games against “Laurier.”
(Anyone for changing the name back?)

Another team that always gave the Warriors trouble were the Redmen of Royal Military College (not to be confused with the Redmen of McGill or Guelph, or for that matter the Warriors of Loyola.)
“Numbers-wise there was not that much disparity between the two schools,” Totzke said.
“They’d win on conditioning.
They’d get into a cohesive unit better than other schools.”
RMC won 6 of its 10 games against Waterloo, and, its objectives achieved, withdrew from competition in the early 1970’s.

A brief break for some Warrior trivia

Games: 236

Most Games Against

McMaster 40, Guelph 36, WLU 25, Western 23

Most Common UW Score

0 (34 times)

Average Score

Opposition 22, Warriors 11

Biggest wins

Waterloo 60, Laurentian 0 (1967, Home)
Waterloo 52, Montreal 0 (1967, Home)
Waterloo 37, St. F. X 0 (1970 away, ex.)
Waterloo 40, McMaster 6 (1979, away)
Waterloo 34, Guelph 0 (1967, away)
Waterloo 34,McMaster 0 (1977, home)
Waterloo 35, Montreal 1 (1966, home)

Biggest Losses

McMaster 77, Waterloo College Mules 0 (1957, home)
Western 72, Waterloo 0 (1984, away)
McMaster 69, Waterloo College 0 (1957, away)
McMaster 60, Waterloo 0 (1985, away)
Laurier 59, Waterloo 0 (1985 home, ex)

Biggest Loss In Which At Least We Scored

McMaster 60, Waterloo 6 (1984, home)

Biggest Loss To A School That Doesn’t Play College Football Any More

RMC 52, Waterloo College 0 (1957, home)

Biggest Loss Outside Canada

Wilmington College (Ohio) 46, Waterloo 6 (1986)

Schools We’ve Never Played

Mount Allison, Acadia, UBC, Calgary, Manitoba

Strange Scores

Waterloo 0, Guelph 0 (1962)
Waterloo 1, RMC 0 (1966)
McMaster 1, Waterloo 0 (1970)
Western 3, Waterloo 2 (1970)
Waterloo 4, Carleton 2 (1975)

Back to the live action

1963 saw Waterloo’s first win over Waterlootheran, 13-12.
The game featured strong performances by Aldredge, who blocked a sure-thing WLU field goal in the final minutes, and equally strong play by the six Warrior cheerleaders selected earlier in the year on the basis of “hair, posture, clothes, figure and a rather dubious category called etc“, according to the Coryphaeus.
Six judges, Totzke included, had labored for hours over a list of candidates and were apparently considering resorting to a tape measure in order to make a final decision, until the cooler heads of the two female judges prevailed.
The same issue reported that “the six short-skirted cheerleaders were much appreciated but had a hard time out-yelling the well-oiled fans.”

The Homecoming rematch in 1964 was played before a record Seagram Stadium crowd of 5,000. The Coryphaeus fueled the rivalry with a front page article outlining “45 Reasons why WLU will lose”, which included
* According to the 83rd thesis by Luther, Thou shalt not play feetsball, ye followers of mine
* Our field has been seeded with grass grown in the Vatican gardens;
* This year, we choose the referees;
* The University police have promised to let anyone park anywhere on campus if the Warriors win.

Unfortunately, as anyone who has had a car towed in the past 20 years can tell you, Lutheran won 19-18.

A new era began on September 24, 1965, midway through the third quarter of a game against Guelph.
Dick Aldredge had moved on to the Canadian Football League, and rookie Bob McKillop replaced Doug Billing at quarterback and tossed an 11-yard touchdown pass to Kim McCuaig.
The Warriors beat the Guelph Redmen – later the Gryphons – 12-1.
The ’65 Warriors were felt by many to be the school’s best team yet, beat Loyola 32-19 in a game highlighted by a 100-yard interception return for a touchdown by Pat McMenamin, and finished the season with 4 wins, 3 losses.

Totzke remembers having “a really interesting group of players” in the mid-1960’s. “McMaster had a one-year graduate physical education program, and they were getting a great influx of ready-made athletes.
So we got on the bandwagon and created a one-year PE course.
That got the traditional phys ed schools ticked, off, and it gradually became unacceptable, but it brought us the “one-year wonders” — Bob Howes, who came from Queen’s and went on to play with the Eskimos, Mike Law, Dave Knechtel who came from WLU and went on to Winnipeg …

“In retrospect, the one-year program wasn’t a good idea; it prevented us from growing and developing our own players.
It meant that 20 of your own students couldn’t play.” But it was successful.
The Warriors peaked during this period, with three straight winning seasons from 1965 to 1968 and some of the most memorable games in Warrior history.

The unusual score of Waterloo 1, RMC 0 occurred in 1966 in an error-filled exhibition matchup.
“I remember that game; we hadn’t practiced before it,” McKillop reminisced, leafing through old copies of the Coryphaeus.
“One of the outstanding punters in Canadian College football,” he said, reading about himself.
“Geez, who wrote that?
We sure had him fooled.”

Totzke recalls long hours spent by his wife and himself making sandwiches in preparation for road trips to Montreal.
“The guys would complain that they weren’t going to eat them, at least until we put the sandwiches out.
It was the cool thing to complain.”
One of those Montreal trips saw the Warrior defence stop Loyola’s running game dead in its tracks by halftime.
“We were creaming them 20-0 at halftime.
They couldn’t run the ball at all.
So in the second half, they found they could pass and came back to win 22-20,” he remembers.
“We stoned ’em so bad on defence in the first half, they found our weakness.”

During that same 1966 season, math student Dave Greenberg started up The Warriors Band in order to get into the games for free.
“One time we were playing and it started to rain,” he recalls.
“We decided to stay around and play some cheers.
That turned the crowd around, and the team noticed.
The Lettermen offered to get us some uniforms.
We started saying hey, there’s money there, what can we spend it on?
So we bought the big bass drum.”
From that point on, the Carling Red Cap Hymn became a fixture at UW games.

The Bar-O-O

Running back Brian Irvine and some friends in the phys ed class of 1967 decided to do something about UW spirit.
Team co-captain Peter Hopkins, now UW campus recreation director, had transferred to UW from Carleton and was familiar with the rivalry at the annual Carleton-Ottawa “Panda Bowl” game.

Hopkins and Irvine were brainstorming ideas about stirring up the UW-WLU rivalry, when Irvine located an old wine barrel in his dad’s basement.
The group painted it in UW and WLU colours, christening it the Bar-O-O trophy, emblematic of football supremacy in Waterloo, and for many years, it was presented to the winner of the UW-WLU game.

Unfortunately the Bar-O-O seems to have disappeared, although everybody has a pretty good idea of which school must have it.

Irvine led the team to a stunning 30-26 victory over Western in 1967.
Totzke’s last home game as a coach and McKillop’s as a player was a memorable 12-8 victory over number-6-ranked Lutheran that year.
“How Sweet It Is!” was Totzke’s reaction after the players presented him with the game ball.

Assistant coach Wally Delahey, now the assistant athletic director, was handed the reins in 1968 after Totzke’s alleged retirement.
The team joined Toronto, Queen’s, McGill and Western in the big league that year; people were buzzing about the College Bowl, and expanding Seagram Stadium.
Six thousand fans and the new Warrior mascot saw a pre-season loss to Alberta and defeat of WLU, complete with UW’s own banner-towing plane.

How was that season, Wally?
“It was a rude awakening,” he says, recalling one win, one tie and four losses.
The 19-19 tie against Toronto and 30-6 win over Western t least proved that UW belonged in the new league, although the new toga-style cheerleader uniforms were a bit of a disappointment.
The season marked a turning point for Warrior fans — they became more aggressive and more colourful, and the Warrior Band’s halftime show in Kingston held up the Queen’s Band’s show for 20 minutes.

Everyone connected with Warrior football recalls 5’9″ running back Gord McLellan’s stellar performance in a 20-15 victory at McGill in 1970, the main highlight of a 1-5 season.
Waterloo’s three touchdowns were all scored by McLellan on kick returns.
“The last was a 105-yard run in the last minute of the game,” Delahey remembers.
“After that, McGill coach Tom Mooney just disintegrated.
He disappeared off the face of the earth.”

A personal highlight for Delahey was a Nova Scotia trip the team took prior to the 1970 season, and the resulting quest for the Green Acres Motel in Antigonish.

“We always made the guys get dressed up for a trip.
I was really proud of those guys; they were dressed to the nines.
But when we got to Antigonish, which has a main drag about as long as this hall, we couldn’t find the motel.
I asked this old codger where it was.
He smirked and said there was no Green Acres Motel, but there was a Green Acres Campground, and that St. F. X. owned it, so away we go down this road.
After six miles, it’s not a road any more, it’s just a path, but we see this Green Acres sign, and a whole bunch of really rustic cabins.
“This can’t be it”, we said, but the guys piled out of the bus in the middle of the wilderness, still all dressed up, beside this football field that looked like a cow pasture.
“OK coach, the joke’s over,” one of them said.
I took the bus back into town and phoned Carl and he said “yeah that’s it”, so back I go and I have to tell all the guys.
We got some fires going in the cabins, they were right on the Bay of Fundy and it turned out to be a great experience.”

An unfortunate bout of player unrest and defections — McLellan, disenchanted with something, jumped to Queen’s — hurt the team in 1971.
Fans threw beer bottles at the cheerleaders that year.
Somehow, the team pulled through and won three in a row for the first time ever, against Windsor, Guelph and McMaster.
The season ended with, sadly, the team’s last ever victory over WLU, 1907, and the Warriors finished a healthy 4-4, after a strong performance by rookie quarterback Chuck Wakefield.

The team finished 3-3 in 1972 but had yet to make the playoffs when the first big slump hit.
UW won no more than two games a season from 1973 to 1977, and it’s hard to tell what was really going on because the Chevron was, you know, the Chevron, and there wasn’t a lot of sports coverage.

Renison College cook Louis Zimmerhansl fed the team pre-game meals for years.
“He was even our honorary coach once”, Delahey says. “We’d sometimes get a faculty member or Dr. Burt Matthews or someone to do that.
They’d come to the meal, come into the dressing rooms.
It was a good PR move.
We never got turned down.”

Delahey also used to run a goofy Play of the Week on occasion. “It’d be a fun play, like a triple reverse. I don’t think it ever worked.”

The Game

Then came 1978, The Year of the Playoff Game We Shoulda Won, the only playoff game in UW’s history.

Delahey had proposed a new league structure for the 1978 season that saw the OUAA West Division split into two groups, the four traditionally strong schools (Toronto, Western, Windsor and WLU) and the weak sisters: Waterloo, Guelph, York and McMaster. You played one cross-over game — WLU beat us 39-10 in that one — and twice against each school in your group.
Waterloo managed a 4-3 record in the regular season, including a spectacular 130-yard league record punt return for a touchdown by Steve Valeriote against York, good enough for third place in the combined standing, and prepared for the Big Semi-Final Game against WLU.

It was a perfect day for football, and we all remember it like it was yesterday (don’t we?).
WLU was, of course, heavily favoured, and took the predicted 23-3 lead at halftime.
The Warriors came out breathing fire in the second half.
Quarterback Greg Sommerville threw touchdown passes to Dan Hagen and Mike Grace;
Mike Karpow added a field goal.
Suddenly it was 23-20.
The Hawks were reeling, and the Warriors were set for the final killer blow.
Waterloo was pressing for the go-ahead touchdown from the three yard line.
Sommerville handed off to running back Bill Guthrie, who will probably never forget fumbling the ball.
Later, Karpow added another field goal to tie the game, but UW was unable to go ahead, as WLU intercepted another Sommerville pass in the end zone (sigh) and WLU full back Jim Reid scored the winning touchdown with less than two minutes left.

A big disappointment.
But also a super effort.
“We should have beaten WLU”, says Delahey.
“We played so bloody well.
The low point was looking at those guys after the game.”
Unfortunately the split-division schedule was dropped after the 1978 season and UW football returned to a successions of two-wins-or-less seasons.

Mind you, they did tie the Toronto Blues 20-20 in 1980 when the Blues were ranked number 1 in the country, and the 25-24 win over Toronto in 1984 was “fantastic! The punting was the key to the victory,” says Jim MacMillan, the, uh, punter in 1984.


So here we are in 1986 and — I hate to say it — the Warriors have lost 19 games in a row.
It’s trendy, but unfair, to knock the program without really knowing what’s going on.
Coach McKillop took over from Coach Delahey for the 1982 season, after a long and successful tenure as UW hockey coach.

“I can adamantly say — this keeps me going — no matter who you talk to, there are no negative vibes from the kids,” he says. “Have they enjoyed it?
It’s the thing that keeps me young.”

Only this year has UW begun to recruit football players.
And it’s paying off. The team is becoming more competitive, although the actual won-lost record won’t show it just yet.
“If we have another recruiting year like last year, we’ll be 25 per cent better again.
You’re only as good as the horse you’ve got in the barn,” McKillop comments.

But it’s not easy, and McKillop and assistant coach in charge of recruiting Ron Dias are not having an easy time of it.
“My biggest concern is that people in local high schools are not supporting our program.
They’re actively discouraging people from playing here.
We find exactly the opposite outside Waterloo County,” the coach says. Unbelievable.

“We’ve done everything”, he continues. “We ran a football clinic here.
People came and said it was the best they’d ever been at.
But the least attendance was from Waterloo Region.”

On recruiting, Totzke notes that “if you want success, you have to do it.
There are difficulties with the perception of the university, that it’s a high tech school, very demanding, that nobody has any fun.
These perceptions are difficult to overcome.”

Looking back over the years, you might not think that football at UW has been a success.
But it has.
“You know the best thing I can say?
If I had to do it again, I would”, says former centre Pete Callaghan, who played from 1981 to 1985, a period when the team won only 5 games.

Or ask Frank Kosec, the most recent Warrior to make the CFL, who retired this year after a career with Calgary and Montreal (and an environmental studies degree.)
“Football was never my number 1 objective.
Get your education first, and combine it with football.
That’s where UW is great — it doesn’t push football.
The guys come out of here with a degree.”

Kosec could have played anywhere after being named Toronto’s top high school defensive player.
“I could have gone to Western or WLU but I figure I’ll take the education first”, he says.
“It was a lot of fun.”

Kosec keeps in touch with McKillop as much as he can.
How’s he like this year’s team?
“At least they’re trying.
They have an opportunity to play.
It’s tough when you lose, but the scoreboard isn’t everything.
I’d rather be on a losing team and play, than be on a winning team and on the bench.”

Of course, more money would help UW’s program immensely, as it’s sadly underfunded.
But the coaching staff has the right attitude.
“We’ve had less serious injuries [in 1986] than we’ve ever had”, says athletic therapist Brian Farrance.

We have some good players.
We have a mascot and a band.
We have some dedicated fans.
It’s just a matter of time.

In fact, I’m going to make a prediction.
The Warriors will win the 1992 CIAU championship.

The 1961 school song says it best:

Keep on Playing, You Warriors
… To Victory!

Even More Argonauts-As-Emoji Charades

In Part 1, we got carried away rendering the names of current and former members of the Toronto Argonauts as emoji (to recap, it all started with “๐Ÿป๐ŸŒฒ”, for “Bear Woods.”)

Here in the Department of We Just Can’t Let Things Go, are a few more.
My thanks to @TheScullerwag for some brilliant contributions to this list.

Some ground rules:

  1. You must be referring to a current or former player, coach, executive, or anybody else associated with the Toronto Argonauts

  2. The name must be rendered primarily using Emoji, but we will also allow other unusual characters from the Unicode standard

  3. We will allow broad interpretations of the meaning of certain Emoji in order to make these “jokes” work.
    In particular, we will allow a country’s flag to stand for various things – the two or three letter ISO country code or a term for a person from that country.
    Furthermore, knowing your mathematical symbols and periodic table may be required.

  4. If you don’t think all of these are side-splittingly hilarious, feel free to start your own list.

I thought I had peaked with with McLeod Bethel-Thompson but then @thescullerwag exceeded that with a brilliant rendering of Mookie Mitchell and scaled new heights – and plunged far back in history – with Nobby Wirkowski.

Without further ado,

More Argos As Emoji

The Sequence

You Should Read It As Who The Heck Are We Talking About

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ โ˜๏ธ ๐Ÿ›€ ๐ŸšŸ ๐Ÿฆƒ ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ

MAC CLOUD BATH EL(evated railway) TOM(turkey) SON
Current Argos quarterback McLeod Bethel-Thompson, of course


Derrell “Mookie” Mitchell.


obviously, Robert Drummond

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿœโ˜•

Paul Masotti. @thescullerwag wasn’t sure this one would work. I think it’s brilliant.

๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ› ๐Ÿ„๐ŸŽฟ

Argo quarterback and 1952 Grey Cup Champion, Nobby Wirkowski

๐Ÿ‘ž ๐Ÿšฎ โœ๏ธ

Tobin Rote. Reaching deep into the Argo quarterback alumni ranks here.

๐Ÿ‘ต ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘ฝ

Damon Allen. We are starting to wonder if it’s possible to do this for all former Argo quarterbacks.

โ˜•๏ธ ๐Ÿ— ๐Ÿ— ๐Ÿ‘จ

Joe Theismann, and yes, it sure looks like you can do this for all former Argo quarterbacks


Kerwin Bell, speaking of which.

๐Ÿœ ๐Ÿฏ ๐Ÿฎ โœŒ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ

Anthony Calvillo. Hey we can do this with quarterback coaches too.

๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ—๏ธ ๐Ÿšƒ

All time argo Jim Stillwagon. Wagon. That’s what they call railroad cars in Europe, OK?


Orlondo Steinauer. Good one by Kelly. Mike had a slightly different alternative – ๐Ÿšฃโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿœ๏ธ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿบโณ . Both highly worthy.


Did you know former Argo GM Adam Rita actually appeared in the Elvis Presley movie Blue Hawaii?

โš›โ‚…โ‚„ โˆง ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐ŸŽฃ

Zenon Andrusyshyn. I struggled mightily with this one. Not only do I wish there was better Unicode support for specific items on the periodic table, I really wish I could get the F out of there.

๐Ÿ˜Œ ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘€

Jan Carinci. @thescullerwag with another gem.


The rare one-emoji identifier. It’s not glossy. It’s Matte. Matte Black. Matt Black. Work with me here.

๐Ÿ˜Ÿ ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿฎ

Cedric Minter. @thescullerwag pushing the limits once again.

๐Ÿฅง๐Ÿ’จ ๐Ÿฅ›๐ŸŽ

Pierre Vercheval, and nothing in the rules says you can’t switch languages part way through the interpretation.

๐Ÿ– ๐ŸŒฐ ๐Ÿ‘‹ ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฆ

Sandy Annunziata. “TA” is of course Tristan Da Cunha, an isolated group of islands in the South Atlantic that, conveniently for us, has its own Unicode flag.


Spergon Wynn. Definitely searching the depths of former Argo quarterbacks here.

๐Ÿฅซ โœ‹โšพ ๐Ÿฅซ

Kent Austin. Might as well get all the former quarterbacks.

๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ„๐Ÿ‘ธ

Jim Corrigall. From @thescullerwag who can’t let this go either.

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ ๐Ÿˆถ๐Ÿˆถ

Chad Owens. Flag of Chad plus Japanese emoji character meaning โ€˜to ownโ€™, as in โ€œfor purchaseโ€ x2..

๐Ÿ’ช ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿต ๐Ÿ˜ถ ๐Ÿ“š

Armanti Edwards. Please, make it stop..

Toronto Argonauts in Emoji

I feel the need to save these gems that were getting tossed around on Twitter and Facebook yesterday.
Can you identify these current and former members of the Toronto Argonauts?
(Hints, answers, and explanation/apologies below, much thanks to Jenn and Mike and @thescullerwag and Kelly and other contributors.)

  1. ๐Ÿป๐ŸŒฒ

  2. ๐ŸŽ™๐Ÿ“๐Ÿˆยฉ๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿ‹

  3. ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ๐Ÿ“ฌ

  4. ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฉO

  5. ๐Ÿถ ๐Ÿ˜ท ๐Ÿ‘”

  6. โ™Œ ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ”

  7. โœ… ๐ŸŒฒ ๐ŸŒณ ๐Ÿ‘จ

  8. ๐Ÿ•บ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ’ง

  9. ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ™โ›ฒ

  10. ๐Ÿš› ๐Ÿ‘› ๐ŸŒŠ

  11. โ˜‘๏ธ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿˆ

  12. ๐ŸŒญ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ๐Ÿ•’

  13. ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿ…พ๏ธโ›ฑ๏ธ

  14. โœ…๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿˆ

  15. ๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ›ฌ๐Ÿธ

  16. ๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿฌ

  17. ยฉ๏ธโ™Œ๐Ÿ‹

  18. ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ›Ž

  19. ๐Ÿ‘–๐ŸŽ„

  20. <๐Ÿ‘”

  21. ๐ŸŒ…๐ŸŒฟ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿšœ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ


  1. Current banged-up linebacker.

  2. All time Argo legend

  3. Former Heismann Trophy winner

  4. Former player 1954-1965 and GM 1976-79, one of only four Argos to have their jersey retired, and you can blame kelly for this one

  5. Another all time great. And the person in the middle has the FLU, ok?

  6. Former coach. The first icon is an astrological sign. Maybe this would have been better: ๐Ÿฆ

  7. Current coach.

  8. Ex-kicker

  9. Another ex-kicker

  10. You might need to look up the technical definition of Unicode character U+1F69B, “ARTICULATED LORRY”, but everybody loves this president of the Friends of the Argonauts fan club.

  11. See #14.

  12. Defensive line….

  13. Aha, I get it now, the third one provides something.

  14. Come on, this one’s easy.

  15. Argos Announcer

  16. Much loved former Argo owner

  17. Former quarterback

  18. Another former quarterback

  19. Jeans. What kind of jeans are they?

  20. All Time Argo and five time Grey Cup Champion

  21. Another All Time Argo

Answers, and blame

  1. Bear Woods

  2. Mike Pin Ball C Lemons

  3. Rocket Ismail (h/t @thescullerwag)

  4. Dick Shatto (blame Kelly for this one)

  5. DOG FLU TIE, and I really wish there was a “Flute” emoji

  6. Leo Cahill (h/t @jennannis)

  7. Mark Trestman

  8. Swayze Waters (blame Kelly for this one too)

  9. Noel Prefontaine (h/t @thescullerwag for another work of genius)

  10. Lori Bursey. They’re waves. So it’s LORRY PURSE SEA. OK we are really stretching here.

  11. Marcus Ball. Thx Mike.

  12. Frank Beltre

  13. Mike O’Shea. Shade. It’s an umbrella.

  14. Marcus Ball. thx kelly.

  15. Don Landry. DAWN(sunrise) LAND(airplane) DRY (martini). Hey, work with me.

  16. John Candy. (Blame Mike Hogan for this one.)

  17. C leo Lemon

  18. Kerwin Bell. CAR WIND BELL. This is too easy.

  19. Llevi Noel. Another extremely rare two-emoji-only name.

  20. Les Ascott. We ask you to be very lenient in how you interpret some of these symbols.

  21. Don Moen. DAWN and then the tractor is MOWING the grass and I really have to let this go

Stop. Just stop. Please

I’m working on one last one, stop me if you think I’m getting carried away, who is this former player?

(๐ŸŽฅ๐ŸฅŠ๐Ÿ‘ฐ)โญ•๏ธ ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ‘ the ๐Ÿ’‹ (๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽท๐Ÿฅ)๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น

(Movie Boxer Wife) – who would that be?

(Trumpet Saxophone Drum) – what do you call that group of people?

(What is the ISO two character country code for the flag shown?)

The answer is of course

Instead of the “Kiss Cam”, how about helping people learn about football?

I shared my thoughts the other day on why it’s time to retire the Kiss Cam, an outdated and inappropriate game day video board presentation.

Teams are always looking for time fillers, so what could you do instead? Here’s an idea.

What if you showed some videos that (humourously) attempted to explain the game?

You need to welcome people who’ve never seen Canadian football before, or who are casual fans that don’t appreciate the nuances of the game. Let’s help them out!
Frankly I’ve been to almost every Argos home game in the past 22 years and there are still a lot of things I don’t understand.
Let’s help me out too!

How about showing some fun vignettes that explain …



  • The basic idea. We’re going that way, they’re going this way, we’re trying to stop them, we get 3 chances to go 10 yards…
  • Why are they called “downs”?

  • What “offside” is
  • What “illegal procedure” is. Is that different than “offside?” Show me what it looks like.
  • How come some players are “ineligible receivers”?

  • Why are there so many referees on the field? What do they all do?

  • The people holding up the sticks at the side of the field. What are they doing? Who are they? What attracted them to this unusual job?

  • What is a “rouge”? Why is it called that?
  • Safeties. Why are they called “safeties”? Why is it a good idea?

  • What is the deal with “onside kicks”? They hardly ever work. Why is that?

  • Sometimes the ref says there’s been an illegal formation. What’s that all about?

  • Tiger-Cats is redundant, isn’t it? Why does our big rival have such a stupid name?

  • Explain pass interference. (OK this is a huge can of worms.)

  • Why do we have slightly different rules than the NFL?

  • The Obscure CFL Rule of the Week: Did you know that Article 7 of the rule book, “Ball Fumbled Out Of Goal Area” says that a team can actually decline a score? Has that ever happened?

  • Teach me some of the referee hand signals. What’s going on here? Are they doing the YMCA or does this mean something? (Note, these are all actual signals from the CFL rule book.)
    CFL referee hand signals
  • Stump The Experts: A kicked ball strikes an official on the head and then clanks into the upright. Is it a dead ball? Stay tuned for the answer!

  • Here’s the thing. Sophisticated fans know all this stuff and will roll their eyes. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned, there aren’t enough sophisticated fans to fill the stadium. We need people who are unfamiliar with football to come, and enjoy, and learn, and become rabid fans. Let’s help them out.

    I bet you could make this fun and engaging and it would be something people would enjoy.

    Unlike the Kiss Cam.

    Time to retire the “Kiss Cam”

    Speaking of football game day traditions – retiring the Kiss Cam is long overdue.
    If you haven’t seen it – this is a stunt found during timeouts at lots of sporting events where the cameras pan the crowd, looking for couples, finding a man and a woman and encouraging them to kiss, all up on the Jumbotron for everyone to see and cheer.

    It’s awkward enough assuming that camera operators have some magic ability to spot people in the crowd who might be a couple.
    We don’t know anything about their situation.
    We, the people, demand that they kiss!
    Kiss for us! Now!

    But …

    Maybe they’re coworkers, maybe they’re neighbours, maybe they’re brother and sister – maybe they’re strangers. Or maybe they really are a couple and they’re having a bad day, or are embarrassed, or who just don’t want to be on the screen doing something intimate.

    Why are we putting randomly selected people on the screen and pressuring them to do something pretty personal like this?
    You can see the reluctance a lot of the time.

    As if that’s not bad enough, it used to be that after four or five rounds of finding couples to kiss, the cameras would then finish off by cutting to two players on the opposing team.
    Ha ha!, the theory apparently went, isn’t that hilarious, the idea that two men would kiss!

    Well, no, it’s not. Come on.

    At least they don’t usually end with that shot of two players any more, but it is still cringe-inducing watching the cameras pan the stands, always on the lookout for a man and a woman sitting together because a) obviously they must be romantically involved if they’re sitting beside each other, and b) a man and a woman is apparently the only “safe” combination to select.

    It’s time to retire this gimmick – it was never funny in the first place and now it’s just awkward and becoming offensive, especially in light of the great work teams are doing with projects like “You Can Play” that encourage everyone of all types to take part in sports.

    Lose the Kiss Cam. Please.

    On football crowd noise

    “People with a real love for the symphony, when other people react and clap after a first movement, they should be saying โ€œWonderful โ€“ there are new people in the audience tonight!โ€

    — Former Toronto Symphony Orchestra conductor Peter Oundjian, asked in The Whole Note about audience members clapping between movements of a piece, something long thought by sophisticated concertgoers to be a major etiquette violation.

    Yesterday I was at the Argos game at BMO Field, a thrilling 24-23 victory over the BC Lions, and the outcome was in doubt until the final second. It was the largest crowd in a while – 18,000 people and the fans were loud, and engaged, and everybody had a great time.

    And, unfortunately, the TV cameras were pointed at the east stands. At the moment, the team doesn’t sell seats in the upper deck, so it looked terrible –

    BMO Field east stands

    The crowd on the west side, where I sat, was much better. Not full, but a big improvement.

    This is the west side’s reaction after the go-ahead touchdown. Isn’t this fun?

    And it was great to see lots of new fans at the game! I hope they come back. It seems like it’s easy to get people to come to one argos game, but harder to get them to come to two.
    An exciting victory on a beautiful day with a loud crowd should definitely help.

    Here’s the thing though.
    The tradition in football is that the home crowd should be quiet when our team has the ball – so that they can hear signals from the quarterback and execute plays to perfection.
    (Make all the noise you want after the ball is snapped but be quiet while they’re getting ready.)

    Conversely, you should be loud, stomp your feet, and scream when the visiting team has the ball.
    Try to throw them off.
    Sometimes it works, sometimes the crowd is so loud that the other team will line up in an illegal formation, or make a false start – and they’ll get an “illegal procedure” penalty.

    (sidebar: here’s the difference between ‘offside’ (on the defense) and ‘illegal procedure’ (on the offense).)

    I have to admit, I never really understood this shushing business.
    Your natural reaction – as in most other team sports – is to cheer madly on offense to help your team score.
    And, aren’t they professional athletes?
    Aren’t you getting paid?
    What’s the problem with a little noise?
    What is this, Golf? You can only perform in silence?

    Well, whatever.
    That’s the tradition.
    They need to hear the signals.
    Quiet on offense, loud on defense.
    The players want it that way.

    What bugs me more, though, is when fans criticize other fans for making noise on offense.
    Yesterday there were some “Let’s Go Argos!” cheers and foot stomping when the Argos had the ball.
    I saw a few tweets from fans complaining about this.
    You’re not supposed to do that, then!
    The nerve, that people would cheer at the wrong time!

    But …
    We should be happy about that.
    It shows that there are new fans at the game.
    We want that!
    We need them!
    We want them to return!

    Peter Oundjian has the right attitude.
    “Inappropriate” crowd reactions really just mean you have new people at the event, and you should celebrate that and welcome them if you want your event to survive and thrive in the modern era.

    It’s the same at football.
    Let people cheer “wrong”.
    Let’s hope they had fun, and will come back, and will figure out our traditions and become as suave and sophisticated as the rest of us.