Travel Poetry, or My Trip to Boulder

My Trip to Boulder
in which I travel to Boulder and write a poem along the way. The sunrise view from YYZ was pretty nice this morning. That must have inspired me.
Pre-flight breakfast in the lounge Now, up some coffee, I must scrounge. Soon, we'll be on board for Denver, Women, men, or other gender. I hope it won't be too much coulder when I finally get to Boulder. You might call me a desperado, Jetting off to Colorado. Days of indecision! so I want to get a Vision Pro. "Steve, why don’t you drive to Buffalo If you want a Vision Pro.” I hear you but I’m already going On this Airbus. (Not a Boeing) Chatting with some CU students, (Talking Code, without impudence) Must check out the Apple Store near my hotel. Almost next door. My credit card’s already humming Anticipating what is coming. When I get back, you know I’ll mock, say, Pearson’s “high speed” “moving” walkway. (awkward change of meter for one stanza) You know it's a good flight, when, up in the skies, You connect to the Wifi in less than three tries. As we near this poem’s conclusion We must report on some confusion The store did not process my order Because I came across the border. You'd ask yourself, don't we have NAFTA? Its rules apply? Well, they don't hafta.
Travel Poetry
I haven’t blogged in a while but since my New Year’s Resolution is blog once in a while, here is a Travel Poem for posterity. I can’t let an epic item like this disappear into the realm of ancient status updates.
A Travel Poem January 2024 It’s been a while since I could say I’m visiting the USA So this is my one chance to warn ya I’m heading off to California I hope to grab a cappucino On my way to Cupertino This poem, it has but one line more Zip code 95014
A CFL Atmosphere Award
My proposal for an award to recognize outstanding contributions to the CFL game day atmosphere. Some day, I’ll get a CFL commissioner to do this.
I had a blog in 2002? What?
Got an email from Google today that my old blog at xhayman.blogspot.com has had no activity since 2007, and the data will be permanently deleted soon.
This came as a mild surprise as I have no memory of all of setting up this blog, which had 4 exciting posts in it from 2002, but for the historical record, here’s what it looked like.

The blog entries themselves are very thrilling. Archiving them here so that when my great-grandchildren somehow discover THIS blog, they’ll also learn about the one I had, briefly, 21 years earlier.
my exciting blog from 2002
FRIDAY, AUGUST 02, 2002
So people just type their random thoughts whenever they like?
POSTED BY X AT 10:25 PM
And let’s publish this. [But wait I revised it]
POSTED BY X AT 10:22 PM
So I made beer can chicken for the 3rd time this week. Getting the hang of it. Figured out how to carve the chicken sort of semiprofessionally. My dad is still the king of carving.
POSTED BY X AT 10:21 PM
I’ve been reading blogs for so long, figured it was time to actually try making one.
POSTED BY X AT 10:20 PM
speaking of old content
In 2012, the CFL gave six fans the password to its tumblr account in order to produce a fan-built blog all about the 100th Grey Cup. I really oughta snag a copy of THAT too. You can still see it here -
It’s probably not too hard to tell which of the posts were from me! Especially the first one!

The story of Go Argos Go - the Toronto Argonauts Fight Song
All about the Toronto Argonauts fight song. Sing along with the Bouncing Ball!
10 Toronto Argonauts Memorable Pregame or Halftime Shows
In honour of today’s 150th Birthday of the Toronto Argonauts Football Club, and inspired by their amazing list of the Top 150 Moments in Argonauts History, I want to offer my own list.
I’ll update this post with pictures or videos if / when I can find them.
In the spirit of fun, and acknowledging how lucky I am to be a fan of this great franchise … I’ll leave it to you to decide whether these should be on a Top or Bottom 10 List
10 Toronto Argonauts Memorable Pregame or Halftime Shows, At Least Ones I Personally Can Remember
10 Divot replacement at BMO Field.
This is the default halftime show at BMO if nothing else is going on. We are lucky to have the only natural grass surface in the league, but it needs attention at halftime, and sometimes this is the only show we get.

9. Muhammad Ali.
Garth Drabinsky was hired to jazz up the halftime shows one year - having Tony Hawk do a skateboard show was pretty good even if we couldn’t see what he was doing inside the halfpipe, but I remember the biggest one.
The halftime show was essentially Ali coming out onto the field, getting mobbed by both the Argos and Ottawa Renegades, and everybody cheering, and for years this was memorialized with a banner at Skydome, alongside the Grey Cup banners. A banner to commemorate a particular halftime show. I never quite understood why that banner needed to be there.
8. Superdogs! Or regular dogs.
I actually love the dogs catching frisbees. This must be a cheap show to do but it’s worth every penny. Who doesn’t love dogs?
7. Cornell University Big Red Band.
Occasionally the team would import a US marching band. Cornell’s band played at halftime of the 1997 Eastern final, and then joined Argonotes for the 4th quarter and a performance outside after the game. I was lucky enough to conduct this massive Cornell + Argonotes band, and my one regret is that we only had about six extra music books for the 150 people in their band.
Actual quote from the Cornell band:
Also, thanks for everything last week. We had an amazing time playing in the Skydome and playing with the Argonotes during and after the game. People in the Cornell Band have said it was the best road trip they've been on (which means that it was better than parading down 5th avenue in New York City!).
6. Electric Drills.
Five contestants competed to see who could drive a 4" Robertson screw into a 4x4 the fastest. If you are thinking “Could the fans even see what was going on?” then you are asking the right question.
5. Supermodels Kick Field Goals.
This was the personal idea of Argos owner Sherwood Schwarz. I was very excited to get a call from the team - “Mr. Schwarz wants the band on the field at halftime.” I was imagining all kinds of fabulous scenarios, but it turned out he wanted the band to play a little “Ta-da!” after each of the supermodels failed to successfully kick a field goal.
4. Inappropriate Metaphors
In 1995 the team set up a fun fair sort of thing outside Skydome, including a giant inflatable slide for the kids, which was a nice idea except the inflatable was a model of the Titanic hitting an iceberg and sinking, which was perhaps not the best message the Boatmen could offer during those dark years.
3. Anthems. Well, one guy in particular
You know, all things considered, I kind of admire the guy for doing what he wants, for self-producing films, for assembling a top-notch blues band, but in 2007, he sang “O Canada” to a chorus of boos, and wound up actually issuing a press release to apologize.
2. Ashley Takes Off.
I wish there was still video of this on Youtube but it’s gone dark. I’m still looking. You gotta see this.
Contestant Ashley was invited onto the field, blindfolded, and all she had to do to win a free trip from Noli Tours was to run 20 feet towards a banner. The crowd was supposed to yell to guide her in the right direction - but somehow she got turned around, and started running, still blindfolded, at full speed for about 80 yards in the wrong direction (as Faye the on-field host shouted “Ashley, STOP!” over the PA) and ultimately she crashed into one of the sideline barriers. Fortunately nobody was hurt and I hope they gave her the trip anyway.
1. Kick for a Million.
The best halftime show ever.
Contestant Brian Diesbourg attempts to kick a field goal from 20, 30, 40 and 50 yards for escalating prizes. He missed the first three and we all thought, wow, this is too bad, he’s not even going to win the TV set for a 20 yard kick.
And then this happened -
He won $1,000,000 - well, actually, $25,000/year for 40 years, and even though that was a little controversial. it was still an amazing show.
Bonus: Argos "players" join Argos Cheer
This was epic too, especially if you ever wondered what would happen if the dance team didn’t get off the field in time.
See also this awesome 2015 Argos Cheer Thriller routine that trapped one of the “players”
Standard CFL Arguments
The league announced that Green Day would be the halftime show for the 110th Grey Cup next month in Hamilton, and although the response was generally positive (and I think it’s a great choice), it reminded me that there are some evergreen CFL discussions that just won’t go away. I wanted to note these here for future reference.
The Standard CFL Arguments.
1. The Halftime Act.
“The halftime act should be Canadian! Dozens of people would surely tune in to hear (obscure band from Flin Flon, or some other band that was popular 40 years ago and which would appeal to that coveted 65+ demographic, or some artist that it turns out has already played at the Grey Cup , etc)”
You know what, we’ve already had Justin Bieber, Gordon Lightfoot, Bachman/Turner, the Guess Who, Bryan Adams, the Tragically Hip, Blue Rodeo, Nickelback, Celine Dion and Shania Twain at the Grey Cup, so you don’t need to suggest those. Come up with some other suggestions. (Also for the record, Rush is no longer available.)
Incidentally the 78th Grey Cup featured “Esmeralda Colombian Dance Group, Mlada Srbadia Serbian Folk Dance Group, Joy of Movement Studiom Yuen’s Institute of Tae Kwon-do and the Hungarian Csardas Dancers of Vancouver”. Now THAT was a show.
I tend to feel that if the halftime act is a band that I, an old guy, actually like, it’s probably not exactly the right choice to attract new interest to the CFL.
2. CFL Expansion
“The CFL should expand! Here, let me show my amazing geographic knowledge with a list of a dozen random cities.”
I have actually seen Churchill, Manitoba and Cornwall, Ontario offered as serious suggestions. Which kind of reminds me of Nate Silver’s infamous recommendation, based on counting up Google searches for the term “NHL”, that the NHL should consider to something called “Sudbury - Thunder Bay.” Never mind that those cities are an eleven hour drive apart. Let’s just name random cities.
3. Location and Time of Games
The right day, time and location for home games (which usually means “more convenient for me, personally”)
(Sometimes people say “If the Argos played at York, they’d attract lots of fans from north of the city”, which conveniently ignores that they’d probably lose even more fans who take Lakeshore trains to the games.)
Paul Woods noted that “it is surely a prerequisite that anyone who says “York” lives west of Thunder Bay and has never been to Toronto.”
4. Attendance Problems in Toronto
“CFL attendance is a complicated problem, so here is a simple trivial solution that I can’t believe MLSE hasn’t tried”
Right, put up some billboards, blanket the newspapers with ads, why don’t they let people in for free, that’ll fix everything. Just ignore that, unlike every other CFL city, there are five other pro teams in town, and an NFL team just an hour away, and another couple of NFL teams just four hours away, and another entire CFL team just down the QEW.
My friend Cameron Hayglass added another -
5. Problems Unique to the CFL
“only in the CFL!” (highlights problem routinely seen in at least one of NBA/NHL/MLB/NFL)
and I then also remembered to include
6. New Stadiums
Any observation about building a new stadium anywhere that does not include any indication of where the $200,000,000 is coming from.
And a problem in every league everywhere -
7. The Fix Is In.
“The referees and the league obviously want team X to win”, say fans of team Y that just lost to team X.