scene: Hamilton’s Bay Area Science and Engineering Fair, check-in last night. Students are setting up their displays and then visiting us at the Safety Desk for a followup consult.

The following is actual dialogue. Only the names have been changed but you can probably guess who one of them is.

Student: “Hi, I’m ready for a safety check.”
Safety Check In Desk Guy: “OK! You’ve come to the right place! What is your project number, please?”
Student: B-17

brief pause

Safety Check In Desk Guy: B-17…. 🎶 Please Mister Please … Don’t play B-17…
Additional Old Volunteers Near The Check Desk Join In: 🎶 It was our song, it was his song, but it’s ooooooover….

Student: ????
Safety Check In Desk Guy: “What? That’s a classic. Olivia Newton-John sang Please Mr. Please on her 1975 album Have You Never Been Mellow. Look!

Student: probably thinking ‘no, i have never been mellow, i was not born in 1975 and neither were my parents’: attempts to back away quietly

Safety Check In Desk Guy: “She’s singing about a jukebox. Somebody is about to play song B-17 and she doesn’t want to hear it because it’s triggering bad memories”
Student: accelerates backup manouver

Additional Old Volunteers Near The Check Desk: also begin to back away

Safety Check In Desk Guy: “OK, look, a jukebox was a coin operated machine that played 45s.”
Student: ????

Safety Check In Desk Guy: “OK, 45s were ‘records’, they were made out of vinyl and …. ok never mind, you can go back to your project and an inspector will be right over.”

Safety Check In Desk Guy: “Also are we sure project K-9 isn’t about dogs? It should be. Could somebody check?”
Mrs Safety Check In Desk Who Has Been Doing this for Thirty Years and who is Already Annoyed that Safety Desk Check In Guy Is Referring to Her as His ‘Assistant’: “cut it out.”

Safety Desk Check In Guy notes in conclusion that he and Mrs. Safety Etc were watching ‘Canada’s Got Talent’ the other night and remarking that it seemed like Canada did not in fact have any talent (if all you ever watched was THAT show), and how grateful we both are to be among these amazing young people who will change the world, and they are all not only brilliant but also very polite.

alao can we double check project K-9 because if I was running things that would definitely be a dog project.