rationale

Cathy doesn’t like going to the movies. I like going to the movies. So for years, we compromised, by not going to the movies.

But a few years ago, she bravely got out of her comfort zone and gave me a delightful Christmas gift whereupon she agreed to go to the movies with me, occasionally, with veto power over which movie it was, etc.

Last Christmas it was my turn, and I agreed to get way out of MY comfort zone by going to a Couples Massage. I have never had a massage. I don’t particularly want other people—other than Cathy, of course—touching me.

(I’m not one of those people who likes hugging colleagues at work either, a problem which I solved by retiring.)

today’s the day

Today was the day. We’re off on a little mini vacation in the Niagara area, and Cathy booked us a Couples Massage, and, knowing me and how much I was likely to enjoy any of this, she booked a short one.

thoughts of steve during the procedure

• This must be what having an autopsy is like.
• You know what this reminds me of? A stranger repeatedly jabbing me in the back with his elbow. It’s a lot like that.
• Check, there’s his shoe. There’s his other shoe. How did he get over to the other side while still jabbing me in the back with his elbow.
• At least there’s a TV you can watch at the dentist.
• Are we done yet? Because my favourite part of anything is when it’s over.
• let’s see, where would I rank this in comparison to other 2026 procedures: eye surgery, a colonoscopy, a dental visit and a gastrosocopy? Top 5. Probably.
• Remembering that time we went to the Mission:Space ride at EPCOT and I had to sit down with my head between my knees for an hour afterwards.
• Or that time I was in a middle seat on a red-eye flight during severe turbulence and there was a kid kicking the seat behind me the whole way.
• At the dentist, you can estimate how far through the procedure you are by watching them progress around your jaw. Ok I’m 1/4 done. 1/2. 3/4. Lower left is all that remains. Two more teeth. I can do this. … I had no time frame in this event today.
• I have to concede that the guy is a professional and probably did a good job by the standards of people who enjoy this.
• i hope she doesn’t mind if I write a blog post about this.

in conclusion

Cathy enjoyed it. And she says she’s glad I made it through, with her. And I am too (the part where it’s over.)

Happy wife, happy life.