A CFL Atmosphere Award

My proposal for an award to recognize outstanding contributions to the CFL game day atmosphere. Some day, I’ll get a CFL commissioner to do this.

I had a blog in 2002? What?

Got an email from Google today that my old blog at xhayman.blogspot.com has had no activity since 2007, and the data will be permanently deleted soon.

This came as a mild surprise as I have no memory of all of setting up this blog, which had 4 exciting posts in it from 2002, but for the historical record, here’s what it looked like.

X Hayman Checks This Out

The blog entries themselves are very thrilling. Archiving them here so that when my great-grandchildren somehow discover THIS blog, they’ll also learn about the one I had, briefly, 21 years earlier.

my exciting blog from 2002

FRIDAY, AUGUST 02, 2002

So people just type their random thoughts whenever they like?
POSTED BY X AT 10:25 PM

And let’s publish this. [But wait I revised it]
POSTED BY X AT 10:22 PM

So I made beer can chicken for the 3rd time this week. Getting the hang of it. Figured out how to carve the chicken sort of semiprofessionally. My dad is still the king of carving.

POSTED BY X AT 10:21 PM

I’ve been reading blogs for so long, figured it was time to actually try making one.
POSTED BY X AT 10:20 PM

speaking of old content

In 2012, the CFL gave six fans the password to its tumblr account in order to produce a fan-built blog all about the 100th Grey Cup. I really oughta snag a copy of THAT too. You can still see it here -

https://greycup.tumblr.com

It’s probably not too hard to tell which of the posts were from me! Especially the first one!

GC100

The story of Go Argos Go - the Toronto Argonauts Fight Song

All about the Toronto Argonauts fight song. Sing along with the Bouncing Ball!

10 Toronto Argonauts Memorable Pregame or Halftime Shows

In honour of today’s 150th Birthday of the Toronto Argonauts Football Club, and inspired by their amazing list of the Top 150 Moments in Argonauts History, I want to offer my own list.

I’ll update this post with pictures or videos if / when I can find them.

In the spirit of fun, and acknowledging how lucky I am to be a fan of this great franchise … I’ll leave it to you to decide whether these should be on a Top or Bottom 10 List

10 Toronto Argonauts Memorable Pregame or Halftime Shows, At Least Ones I Personally Can Remember

10 Divot replacement at BMO Field.

This is the default halftime show at BMO if nothing else is going on. We are lucky to have the only natural grass surface in the league, but it needs attention at halftime, and sometimes this is the only show we get.

Divot Replacement

9. Muhammad Ali.

Garth Drabinsky was hired to jazz up the halftime shows one year - having Tony Hawk do a skateboard show was pretty good even if we couldn’t see what he was doing inside the halfpipe, but I remember the biggest one.

The halftime show was essentially Ali coming out onto the field, getting mobbed by both the Argos and Ottawa Renegades, and everybody cheering, and for years this was memorialized with a banner at Skydome, alongside the Grey Cup banners. A banner to commemorate a particular halftime show. I never quite understood why that banner needed to be there.

8. Superdogs! Or regular dogs.

I actually love the dogs catching frisbees. This must be a cheap show to do but it’s worth every penny. Who doesn’t love dogs?

7. Cornell University Big Red Band.

Occasionally the team would import a US marching band. Cornell’s band played at halftime of the 1997 Eastern final, and then joined Argonotes for the 4th quarter and a performance outside after the game. I was lucky enough to conduct this massive Cornell + Argonotes band, and my one regret is that we only had about six extra music books for the 150 people in their band.

Actual quote from the Cornell band:

Also, thanks for everything last week. We had an amazing time playing in the Skydome and playing with the Argonotes during and after the game. People in the Cornell Band have said it was the best road trip they've been on (which means that it was better than parading down 5th avenue in New York City!).

6. Electric Drills.

Five contestants competed to see who could drive a 4" Robertson screw into a 4x4 the fastest. If you are thinking “Could the fans even see what was going on?” then you are asking the right question.

5. Supermodels Kick Field Goals.

This was the personal idea of Argos owner Sherwood Schwarz. I was very excited to get a call from the team - “Mr. Schwarz wants the band on the field at halftime.” I was imagining all kinds of fabulous scenarios, but it turned out he wanted the band to play a little “Ta-da!” after each of the supermodels failed to successfully kick a field goal.

4. Inappropriate Metaphors

In 1995 the team set up a fun fair sort of thing outside Skydome, including a giant inflatable slide for the kids, which was a nice idea except the inflatable was a model of the Titanic hitting an iceberg and sinking, which was perhaps not the best message the Boatmen could offer during those dark years.

3. Anthems. Well, one guy in particular

You know, all things considered, I kind of admire the guy for doing what he wants, for self-producing films, for assembling a top-notch blues band, but in 2007, he sang “O Canada” to a chorus of boos, and wound up actually issuing a press release to apologize.

2. Ashley Takes Off.

I wish there was still video of this on Youtube but it’s gone dark. I’m still looking. You gotta see this.

Contestant Ashley was invited onto the field, blindfolded, and all she had to do to win a free trip from Noli Tours was to run 20 feet towards a banner. The crowd was supposed to yell to guide her in the right direction - but somehow she got turned around, and started running, still blindfolded, at full speed for about 80 yards in the wrong direction (as Faye the on-field host shouted “Ashley, STOP!” over the PA) and ultimately she crashed into one of the sideline barriers. Fortunately nobody was hurt and I hope they gave her the trip anyway.

1. Kick for a Million.

The best halftime show ever.

Contestant Brian Diesbourg attempts to kick a field goal from 20, 30, 40 and 50 yards for escalating prizes. He missed the first three and we all thought, wow, this is too bad, he’s not even going to win the TV set for a 20 yard kick.

And then this happened -

He won $1,000,000 - well, actually, $25,000/year for 40 years, and even though that was a little controversial. it was still an amazing show.

Bonus: Argos "players" join Argos Cheer

This was epic too, especially if you ever wondered what would happen if the dance team didn’t get off the field in time.

See also this awesome 2015 Argos Cheer Thriller routine that trapped one of the “players”

Standard CFL Arguments

The league announced that Green Day would be the halftime show for the 110th Grey Cup next month in Hamilton, and although the response was generally positive (and I think it’s a great choice), it reminded me that there are some evergreen CFL discussions that just won’t go away. I wanted to note these here for future reference.

The Standard CFL Arguments.

1. The Halftime Act.

The halftime act should be Canadian! Dozens of people would surely tune in to hear (obscure band from Flin Flon, or some other band that was popular 40 years ago and which would appeal to that coveted 65+ demographic, or some artist that it turns out has already played at the Grey Cup , etc)”

You know what, we’ve already had Justin Bieber, Gordon Lightfoot, Bachman/Turner, the Guess Who, Bryan Adams, the Tragically Hip, Blue Rodeo, Nickelback, Celine Dion and Shania Twain at the Grey Cup, so you don’t need to suggest those. Come up with some other suggestions. (Also for the record, Rush is no longer available.)

Incidentally the 78th Grey Cup featured “Esmeralda Colombian Dance Group, Mlada Srbadia Serbian Folk Dance Group, Joy of Movement Studiom Yuen’s Institute of Tae Kwon-do and the Hungarian Csardas Dancers of Vancouver”. Now THAT was a show.

I tend to feel that if the halftime act is a band that I, an old guy, actually like, it’s probably not exactly the right choice to attract new interest to the CFL.

2. CFL Expansion

The CFL should expand! Here, let me show my amazing geographic knowledge with a list of a dozen random cities.”

I have actually seen Churchill, Manitoba and Cornwall, Ontario offered as serious suggestions. Which kind of reminds me of Nate Silver’s infamous recommendation, based on counting up Google searches for the term “NHL”, that the NHL should consider to something called “Sudbury - Thunder Bay.” Never mind that those cities are an eleven hour drive apart. Let’s just name random cities.

3. Location and Time of Games

The right day, time and location for home games (which usually means “more convenient for me, personally”)

(Sometimes people say “If the Argos played at York, they’d attract lots of fans from north of the city”, which conveniently ignores that they’d probably lose even more fans who take Lakeshore trains to the games.)

Paul Woods noted that “it is surely a prerequisite that anyone who says “York” lives west of Thunder Bay and has never been to Toronto.”

4. Attendance Problems in Toronto

CFL attendance is a complicated problem, so here is a simple trivial solution that I can’t believe MLSE hasn’t tried”

Right, put up some billboards, blanket the newspapers with ads, why don’t they let people in for free, that’ll fix everything. Just ignore that, unlike every other CFL city, there are five other pro teams in town, and an NFL team just an hour away, and another couple of NFL teams just four hours away, and another entire CFL team just down the QEW.

My friend Cameron Hayglass added another -

5. Problems Unique to the CFL

only in the CFL!” (highlights problem routinely seen in at least one of NBA/NHL/MLB/NFL)

and I then also remembered to include

6. New Stadiums

Any observation about building a new stadium anywhere that does not include any indication of where the $200,000,000 is coming from.

And a problem in every league everywhere -

7. The Fix Is In.

The referees and the league obviously want team X to win”, say fans of team Y that just lost to team X.

Paris, 2009. Automating the Eiffel Tower

Here is something dumb and silly but I’m glad we did it. See video below.

In September, 2009 I was just finishing up a bit of a business boondoggle trip - presentations on iOS coding in London, Madrid, Berlin and Paris. (I hope it impressed my Dad that I gave a lecture at the Sorbonne.)

On the final night I went to a little sidewalk cafΓ© with some colleagues.

It had a lovely view of the Eiffel Tower. (Lots of places in Paris seem to have a lovely view of the Eiffel Tower. for instance this was the view from the office.)

View from Apple office

So anyway we’re at this cafe.

7:00 PM

One of my friends mentioned that the tower lit up once an hour. Sure enough, at 7:00 or so we noticed it flashing dramatically. That was pretty cool!

And we had some more wine.

8:00 PM

And at about 7:57 somebody said “I wonder if it lights up at Exactly 8:00 on the dot? Like, is it synchronized to an atomic clock or something?”

So we all looked at the clocks on our iPhones intently, and sure enough, at EXACTLY 8:00 on the dot, the light show began again. That’s cool!

More wine. maybe beer. I forget. But we must have had something because we were still there at

8:45 PM

We’re still there. we hatched a plan. I’d spent the week showing people how to build iOS apps. Sometimes I’d build a flashlight app, some dumb little thing where you’d tap the screen and a light came on. What if you had an app that turned on the Eiffel Tower lights? Maybe the tower has bluetooth. That’d be pretty cool. Wouldn’t that be hilarious? But how would you do it?

What if you just faked it? Would it be believable, or just stupid? Or maybe funny?

8:57 PM

The three of us are now standing outside. One guy is filming me. The other is holding up his iPhone where I can see it, displaying the time to the second.

8:58 PM

Ready? Let’s start filming. What have we got to lose? Quick, think of something to say.

8:59 PM

Showtime.

We tried the corresponding turn-the-lights-off stunt a minute later but messed up the timing.

14 years later I’m glad we did this silly thing. But I kind of wish I could have a do-over. I’d sell it better!

Half my life at Apple and NeXT

Well, I just turned 64. So half my life ago, I was 32, in September of 1991. And in September of 1991, I started work at NeXT, which then merged into Apple in 1996.

So I’ve been doing this job - with great delight! - for half my life. (I figured out the actual day when I’d spent half my life here; it was a few days ago, I won’t bore you with the calendar math.)

I had been working at Indiana University, and bought a NeXT Cube workstation for $11,000. I was fascinated with this computer. A Unix machine, with a great graphical interface, amazing built in sound, awesome object-oriented developer tools, and it’s only $11,000 with the academic discount? I’ll buy one!

Me and my NeXT Cbue

That’d be a much younger me, and my brand new NeXT cube in my Bloomington, Indiana apartment (and in the background is an Atari 520ST. It was my previous favourite thing that I think never got turned on again after I got the NeXT cube.

Of course, I still have that NeXT cube. The watch on my wrist is its direct descendant - it’s running sort of the same operating system, using sort of the same developer tools, and it’s a better computer by almost any measurement. That NeXT cube was the ancestor of everything Apple makes today.

IMG 0754

So anyway, Indiana was swell but eventually I wanted to move back to Canada, so not knowing anything about sales or anything, I asked the local rep Pat Wootan if, by any chance, did NeXT have an office in Canada and would they have any use for someone like me?

Turns out, yes! There was a sales office in Toronto consisting of a whole two people, and one of them (the “Systems Engineer”, whatever that meant) was leaving, so Pat put me in touch with Phil Hume (the “Account Executive”) and a chain of interviews started.

NeXT flew me out to Redwood City, California, and I remember a theme during the interviews. Multiple people asked me “Wait - you paid $11,000 for a Cube? Did nobody tip you off that a cheaper, faster, $2,000 NeXTStation was about to ship? Geez, I’m sorry. Maybe we can make it up to you by hiring you.” And they did, and I started in September 1991.

Here I am now, half my life put into this job. 32 years of wonder, of fascination with new technology, of nagging impostor syndrome that I still don’t really understand a lot of it, and of excitement about what comes next.

So what were YOU doing half your life ago?

Toronto Argos Game Day Off-the-Field Action Report for Game 4: Argos vs Ottawa

Here’s another in the irregular connection of Off the Field Reports. You can read the details of the football action anywhere, but what if you want to know what’s happening in the stands instead? What if you want another report on whether the QR Code pizza slice contest worked? Where can you go? Where?

Well, here as it turns out. And if you just can’t get enough of this, you can catch up if necessary on Game 1, Game 2 and Game 3.

Game Summary

Argos: 44

Ottawa: 31

Weather: Beautiful

Crowd: Boisterous

what were the other people on the GO Train coming down to see?

Something called KidzBop was playing at the Budweiser Stage, and I must extend my congratulations to all the moms and dads who were accompanying the throngs of excited young people. I hope there was something fun for you older folks too, perhaps some Glenn Miller covers.

wait wasn't Kidz Bop at 4 and the football at 7?

Yeah, we came down earlier than normal. We took a friend from California to his first ever CFL game, and did a couple of tourist things ahead of time. Including visiting Little Canada, an amazing HO Scale recreation of great Canadian scenes, found at Yonge/Dundas Square. Highly recommended! Even if it features 1:87 working models of the Skydome and Air Canada Centre - or whatever they’re called now - but not BMO Field.

Here’s a panorama of Toronto at Little Canada. You really should check it out.

Little Canadapano

And we headed from there to the game.

So anyway our friend James really enjoyed the game and is now the Argos Good Luck Charm, as they have never lost when James has been on hand. (My Apple friends, you know James from his band And the Breakpoints of course.)

could we possibly talk about the football game

I’m getting there. Before the game, I decided I needed to buy an Argos jersey. I quite like the new 2023 design and decided to go for the Cambridge Blue home version. You know, Cambridge Blue. The lighter of the two Blues associated with the Double Blue, the other being Oxford, unless I have that backwards.

I bought the jersey before the game and then hustled back to my seat, and much to my surprise, the custom name/number lettering was done ALSO BEFORE THE GAME with a speed that surprised me. I guess it pays to be one of the first in line.

what name/number did you get

Well I thought about this a lot. In the Argonotes days I was “DICTATOR / 94”. Maybe. Or I could have got “ARGONOTES / 23”. Maybe that too. Or a lot of people get one of their favourite player, and for me that would have been “BALL / 6” (and here’s why Marcus Ball is my all time favourite.)

Ultimately I went with DICTATOR / 94 for sentimental reasons, but I then spent the rest of the game wondering if the iron-on numbers they’d applied were actually in the same font as the real player numbers. Still not quite sure. Will be investigating this further at the next game.

apart from yours what was your favourite jersey

BOATMAN

BOATMAN. That was pretty good. The Argos are known as the Boatmen, of course, and the team actually had a player named Shannon Boatman who played five games in 2010. It’s almost the perfect jersey!

Except I talked to this guy and said “Hey, that’s great that you have a Shannon Boatman jersey” and he told me that he chose BOATMAN as just the team nickname, not a salute to Shannon Boatman who he wasn’t even aware of, but that it worked out nicely.

i wonder who actually has a legit Shannon Boatman game worn jersey?

BOATMAN

wonder no more.

has the game started yet or are you just going to write about things that happened before the game

Soon. I promise. First though

National Anthem

It came in at 1:31. As usual. Lovely voice. Please go faster.

kickoff!

An odd siren sound was played at the start of the 1st and 2nd halves. I get that they’re trying something new here but they need a better recording, or a better live performance. It was oddly anemic sounding.

how did your american friend James like the game?

He liked that at one point the ball was on the 54 Yard Line, something he’s never seen before.

promotions recap

A good set of promotions this week, including some sort of Match Game thing where you were given a prompt (“Fill in the blank: WATER ______") and you had to match what the prerecoded player was going to do. I liked that. Contestant guesses

Player Reveals

This contestant got 2 out of 5 right but the game day hostess said “You’re still going to win.” (cough) isn’t it odd how people just about always win? it’s as if they’re going to give the prize away whatever happens, which is good.

Did they do the spin-the-wheel thing? YES

Did the contestant give yet another extremely weak spin, rotating the wheel only about 60ΒΊ presumably so it wouldn’t spin forever? YES

Do you understand how this promotion works now? I think so. You get one spin. But you play Rock/Paper/Scissors twice with Jason the mascot, to win additional spins. Something like that.

What about the Possibly Dangerous Tumbling Cross The End Zone Inflatable Thing? NO (unless I missed it.)

Were people throwing footballs into the crowd? YES and the throwers were, I think, actual amateur football players and they were really heaving the things up into the 200 level. That was nice to see.

the cannon

Fired once after every Argo touchdown, and (oops) once after the Argos were stopped by Ottawa on the 1 yard line (oops). A little premature exhilaration there. Whoops. Argos still won. Cannon was fired on the subsequent kickoff rouge to even things up. All is forgiven.

Cannon

the fight song

Played after 4 out of 5 touchdowns. The Section 123 choir is in fine form and I am happy that people are gradually picking up on the Official Gestures, seen here:

I noticed the words on the scoreboard too. Thanks, Argos! (Now if we could just stop cutting it off before the 2nd chorus ends.)

members of the game

Props to the Argos for honouring long time season ticket holders too (or as MLSE calls them, ‘Members’). Here are (I think) Les and Elizabeth, with former Argo Chad Folk. This is a nice initiative.

Members

how about letting members fire the cannon?

Just a thought. The smoke rings are cool.

Cannon Smoke Ring

Halftime

Dogs! Dogs catching frisbees! I love that. Although they spent quite a while erecting some mysterious structure at center field that was used maybe for one jump only.

The dog did manage to jump over the thing, and also Jason. Good doggie.

Dog Jump

the referee

It was everyone’s favourite official, Andre Proulx. The crowd seemed to disagree with many of his decisions. It’s amazing how many experts there are on the CFL rulebook, particular the subsections around Pass Interference or Roughing the Passer, and how clearly the fans can see exactly what happened better than the officials who are standing right there.

You know what, I wonder if he gets hassled more than other CFL referees mostly because he understandably speaks with an obvious accent, so you KNOW it’s him.

I like the guy. Hey, we won. Quit complaining.

signs of the game

I didn’t see any particularly great fan signs this week, but I will point out that our Hide the Defensive Coordinator Signs are WAY better than Ottawa’s. One tiny little logo on the side? Come ON, you can do better than that.

Our Signs Their Sign

before or after 1914?

This was a fun quiz too. Asking players if certain things had happened Before or After the Argos won their first Grey Cup in 1914.

1914 Quiz

Hey, we all learned something. Vacuum cleaners predate the first Argo Grey Cup

Drum Battle

I liked it when mascot Jason and a fan were taking turns wailing away on a drum. More like this please.

Drum Battle

the QR Code

Did they figure out the Pizza Pizza QR Code technical glitch that has often plagued this giveaway? Well, here’s the code…

QR Code

This QR code happens to translate to this URL: https://uqr.to/1jlea

and once again I think they’ve botched the Javascript on that web page, as it is trying to redirect to this nonsensical URL

            window.location='https\u003A\/\/pizzapizza.lnk.click\/toronto\u002Dargonauts\u002Dscore\u002Da\u002Dslice\u002Dckw482\u002Daugust\u002D13';

I can see what they’re trying to do, they want to redirect you to this link

https://pizzapizza.lnk.click/toronto-argonauts-score-a-slice-ckw482-august-13

which would work, if only they hadn’t messed up the Javascript code on the original page.

This promotion STILL needs some work. if you were at the game and this QR code worked for you, let me know what I’m doing wrong, because it sure seems broken.

conclusion: did you have fun

yes. And you should come too! Here’s yet another reason why: No annoying digital ads on the field unlike when you watch the game on TV!

Thanks Argos for another great night of football, and thanks to the Section 123 Choir for fight songs that just keep improving.

footnote on GO Transit and Metrolinx

Generally taking the train to the game works great, from either East or West. We come in from Oakville. Super easy. Train drops us at Exhibition Station 100 yards from the stadium. But all week long, Metrolinx had been announcing that the Lakeshore East line would not be running on the weekend. This caused a great deal of confusion. Lakeshore East? Like, travelling eastbound? Don’t we travel eastbound from Oakville?

Wait, NO. What they meant was that the eastern half of the lakeshore line, from Union Station out to Oshawa, would not be running. The Lakeshore WEST line, which we take, was still operating from Oakville to Exhibition Station and on to Union, and then back later.

I wonder if they ought to rename the line. Trains run Eastbound on Lakeshore West, and vice versa. People were confused. I don’t mean to slam Metrolinx, I know the work has to get done some time, and there was at least one time when Argo fans persuaded them to postpone a construction stoppage until after the game had concluded so people could get home, so they are trying to do the right thing.

next time you do this: Include a diagram!

Go